insert name here

Thursday, July 21, 2005

MMJ is so dark that..

MMJ is so dark that....

1. ...Mrs. MMJ uses night vision goggles in bed.

2. ...Luke Skywalker hates him cause he IS the dark side of The Force.

3. ...even Voldemort calls him the 'Dark Lord'.

4. ...he is the leading cause of global warming.

5. ...dark, darker, darkest, MMJ. (Oxford Dictionary (India) 2005
edition)

6. ...our classroom blackboards turn green (with envy).

7. ...his parents have labelled his childhood photo album, 'The Dark
Ages'.

8. ...Metallica-Black was actually dedicated to him.

9. ...the jokes he crackes in class are called Black Humor.

10. ...pencils are available as HB,B,2B,...,7B,MMJ.

11. ...when he eats dark chocolate it looks like a milkybar.

12. ...in school he was listed under 'apparatus' for 'Radiation of
black body' experiment.

13. ...when he goes for an X-ray, they have to use white film.

14. ...when he was small, his mother used talcum powder for the 'tika'
so that 'drishta lagnaar nahi'.

15. ...his sunscreen is -40 SPF.

16. ...his shadow gets embarassed in his presence.

17. ...he stars in the new Hollywood flick, 'Opaque Man'.

18. ...he calls himself 'Mr. India' at night.

19. ...blacks call him 'coloured'.

20. ...he makes carbon paper by wiping his face on tissues.

21. ...Osama is thinking of using him to defeat face recognition
technology.

22. ...first God said, "Let there be light", and there was light. Then
God said, "Let there be darkness." And MMJ was created.

23. ...when he directs a movie, the credits will say, M. 'Night' Jadhav

24. ...when he tried Xeroxing his butt, the machine ran out of toner.

25. ...when he wore torn pants to school, the kids asked him why he
had sat in tar.

26. ...when MMJ was created God said, "Shit!!, Jal Gaya!!"

27. ...when he grins, it is like chicklets floating in the air.

28. ...he was the CIA's most successful shadow operative...until he
was posted to Alaska.

29. ...he offered to work naked for MIB.

30. ...when he was disowned by the Jadhav family, they called him 'the
white sheep of the family'.

31. ...when he returns after a long hiatus, he says he is, 'back in
black'

32. ...he did so much proxy voting last time, they had to make
provision for eraz-ex at his polling booth.

33. ..he leaves fingerprints on charcoal.

34. ...when he goes to Cafe Coffee Day, it becomes Cafe Coffee Night.

35. ...he is stopped by the cops for wearing black visor helmet.

36. ...Iron Maiden were so scared of him, they wrote 'Fear of the Dark'.

39. ...when he appears on TV it goes out of sync.

40. ...when feminist groups protest about his behaviour, they whiten his face with neutral polish.

When MMJ and Rahul go to a Quiz as a team, they call themselves 'The
Chessboard'

When MJ was confused between choosing MMJ and Rahul, he came up with
Black or White.

When MMJ and Rahul stand together, it looks like a one letter
crossword.

When you look at MMJ and then Rahul, your pupils blow up with the
strain.

Childbirth is a miracle, but when MMJ was born, they called it black
magic.

MMJ at international astrophysics conference: "All personalities, I
presents to you, 'DARK MATTER'!!".

MMJ's Philosophy: 'Night does not exist, it is an illusion caused due
to persistence of vision when i rotate around the earth.'

When MMJ takes a girl out, what is it called?
> Carbon Dating.

What do you call a sports team with all MMJ clones?
> ALL Blacks.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Ocean's 11

Currently the following lucky ones can write to this blog :
  1. Anish Bhatt
  2. Mohit Singh Chhabra
  3. Ashwin Date
  4. Rahul Gokhale
  5. Aseem Jagdale
  6. Hrishikesh Kawade
  7. Akshay Panday
  8. Akshay Raut
  9. Chinmay Ruikar
  10. Mihir Shah
  11. Vikas Vadlapatla
Lesse how many of these people actually turn up...